To get started coaching with your team members may be a little uncomfortable at first. Managers often feel uneasy relinquishing so much control of the discussion and moving to a less directive approach. You may not be sure where and how to start. Building a successful coaching relationship requires you to establish rapport and trust with your coachee. You can do some simple things to establish early rapport with team members as you begin a coaching relationship – it starts with a little curiosity.
“The only way to influence people is to talk in terms of what the other person wants.”
Dale Carnegie, Best Selling Author and Speaker
After the benefits of coaching are understood, and you’ve had some training in a coaching model, you’re ready to start coaching. However, it rarely is that simple as managers may not know where to begin. A shotgun approach to deploying a coaching approach can backfire. I saw this first-hand in a recent organization that I worked in. When the organization decided to move toward a coaching leadership approach, the implementation was inconsistent and not very effective. The leadership team and new managers received training in GROW. However, not all managers were comfortable having coaching sessions with team members. It was too “touchy, feely” for some. They often returned to their comfort zone during one-on-ones — talking about the daily business and not the team member’s development or performance.
Connect with Team Members And Be Curious
There are a few simple tactics I’ve used to build rapport with a new coachee, and it starts with curiosity. You need to be curious in what interests them and you should show this curiosity by asking them questions. If you find something in common with them, your rapport will grow exponentially. I asked some simple questions as I did my morning walkarounds in the office and in the break room…like what they thought of the game last night or what they did over the weekend. During the walkarounds, I would notice pictures, pennants, or trinkets that the team member had displayed in their cubicle. This often turned out to be a good starting point to ask questions about their interests, college alma mater, etc. Team members always responded positively, and we established some instant rapport. Showing some curiosity and interest goes a long way in building rapport with team members as you start coaching them.
Do Some Research
Another approach I used to build rapport with a coachee was doing a little research first to get a sense of their background and interests. At a company I worked in previously, we had an internal social media platform similar to Facebook. Employees could share their profile which included their education, skills and previous work experience. I would research a coachee’s profile to identify something in common that we could discuss in our early coaching sessions. As a professional coach nowadays, I use Linked-In to find common interests and experience with my external coaching clients to build rapport. This has been useful in breaking the ice and building rapport when developing a new coaching relationship.
Get Started Coaching with Team Members Who Are Willing
I recommend against diving into coaching for the first time with a low performer. Coaching for low performance can be challenging, and having some coaching experience is recommended before you embark on this. I suggest starting to coach with team members for career development and with whom you have some rapport with already. Begin with a team member who will be receptive to coaching. Maybe they’ve mentioned a desire to learn a new skill or transition to a new role.
Ease The Anxiety With Your Team Members
Beginning coaching discussions with your employees can be uncomfortable for them too. In a recent survey by the American Psychological Association, 75% of the participants said the most stressful aspect of their job was interacting with their immediate boss. You can reduce their anxiety and yours by building rapport and trust with your team members. Having some rapport with your coachee is needed before you jump into the GROW model.
Being curious and building rapport with your coachee will enable you to be a more effective coach. Your team members will be more willing to engage in the GROW approach, which will lead to deeper discussions on performance and development. Start with a team member who you have rapport with already and would be receptive to coaching for professional development. For more info on building rapport with your team, check out this article: Building Rapport: The First Step to Being a Great Manager