Month: July 2021

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Coaching Tips For Managers

Four Hybrid Hazards To Avoid When Returning To The Office

Many organizations are transitioning to a hybrid work environment as they return to the office.  This typically involves having team members work some days in the office and other days remotely.   While there can be benefits to this hybrid work environment from working fully remotely, you should be aware of some pitfalls to avoid.  By being aware of these potential issues, you can build a new work environment that is both productive and enjoyable to your team.

Most of us experienced significant changes in our life and in our work environment during the COVID pandemic.  The pandemic has created significant mental fatigue with much of the workforce and is leading to high attrition.   A recent survey indicated over 25% of US workers and 40% of global workers plan to quite their jobs by the end of the year.  To retain talent and avoid the high attrition, it is critical that you establish a new work environment where team members feel comfortable and appreciated.

Avoid a Two-Tier System

With part of your team in the office and another part of the team working remotely, there is a risk of creating a “two-tier” system.   This dynamic may unintentionally provide more favorable conditions to team members that are in the office while putting team members who are working remotely at a disadvantage.  This situation is caused by the more frequent interaction you will likely have with team members that are in the office as they are in close proximity.    Unfortunately, this can result in seeking their inputs more regularly on various situations that can affect the entire team.  Worst of all, you may provide the “in” team members with job assignments and opportunities that remote team members may not be aware of…largely due to convenience.

Although you may not be aware of this dynamic, it can become very real and cause serious damage to overall team dynamics.  Make sure you conduct regular flow-out, make key decisions, and do recognition with the entire team participating…ideally when the team can all be in the office.  When new job assignments and other opportunities come up, introduce these with the entire team present.

Don’t Pretend To Have All the Answers

There are a lot of uncertainties that a hybrid work environment can bring.  As a manager, you may feel you need to have all the answers for your team.  After all, you’re emerging from a pandemic that created a lot of disruption and uncertainty. While creating a stable hybrid work environment is desirable, this will be more of a journey, than an immediate arrival when you first return to the office.  You will probably need to make some iterations as you and your team learn what works best in a hybrid environment.  As you enter into this new work environment, involve your team to get their inputs and ideas on what can be improved.

Don’t Make the Work Environment Sterile

This can be an especially common pitfall when using a “hot desk” approach where team members share desks.  Recognize that one of the benefits of working remotely for many team members was the ability to work in a personalized space that made them feel comfortable.  Spending 8+ hours a day at a bare desk and cubicle will not be appealing for most.  Encourage them to bring in pictures and trinkets that they can set up on the shared desk when they are in the office…and can be easily stored in a desk drawer when they are working remotely and another team member is using the space.

Personalizing common workspace, like a conference room where the team regularly meets, can be helpful as well.  I worked with a manager who encouraged team members to print out pictures of their pets, and they created a collage that they hung in their conference room.  You might consider having each team member bring in their favorite picture from the past year that represented a change for them.  Team members will have fun seeing the different hairstyles, hobbies, etc, that colleagues tried out during the pandemic.

Don’t Forget the Positive Lessons of Virtual Work

Many organizations built resiliency muscles during the pandemic that you don’t want to atrophy when you get back into the office.   You probably learned new technology tools and methods to communicate and collaborate effectively in a virtual environment during the pandemic.   Build on these lessons as you’ll need to continue this in a hybrid work environment while part of your team is working virtually.

While working remotely during the pandemic, did you find yourself spending less of your time directing day-to-day activities for your team?  My guess is the virtual environment forced you to delegate more.   Maybe you were able to spend more time on coaching and strategy.   This focus on coaching versus directing is something you’ll want to continue in a hybrid workplace and beyond.

Moving to a hybrid work environment can combine the benefits of stronger collaboration that in-person work usually brings, with the flexibility that remote work offers.  As you build this new hybrid work environment, be aware of the pitfalls that you can easily fall into.  By being aware of these hybrid hazards, you can be more successful in creating a new work environment where your team will flourish.

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Coaching Tips For Parents

Building EQ in Your Child Starts With You

As a parent, you are in the best position to help your child develop their emotional intelligence.  You can use your skills as a parent coach and the GROW method to help your child be aware of their emotions. Researcher John Gottman refers to this as being an “emotion coach.”  But children learn largely by example, even when you’re not intentionally trying to teach them.  Becoming an emotion coach for your child starts by role modeling EQ skills in your interactions with them and other family members.

Children Learn From What We Do

“Family life is our first school for emotional learning,” states Daniel Goleman, the author of the best-selling book Emotional Intelligence. Through family life “we learn how to feel about ourselves and how others will react to our feelings; how to think about these feelings and what choices we have in reacting; how to read and express hopes and fears.” Goleman says this learning takes place not only in what parents say, but in how they treat each other. When parents are emotionally competent in their own relationships, they are more capable of helping their children work through their emotional challenges.  If we don’t have a healthy way of handling our own emotions, we will have trouble teaching our kids how to handle theirs. 

Control Your Own Emotions First

Have you every been upset with your child but you didn’t manage your anger well…turning it on them?  This can then raise the temperature with them and provoke an angry response.   We then try to settle our child down, but it could have been avoided if we had managed our anger better.   This happened on occasion with my son, as I found myself losing patience and sometime directing my anger at him.  He would then turn defensive and get angry back at me.  I would then coach him to settle down and manage his anger better.  Sound hypocritical?  It was…and I realized I had to manage my own emotions better if I wanted him to do the same.

“Anyone can be angry – that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way – that is not easy.” 

Aristotle

One of the most important things to remember is not to blame your child for making you angry or disappointed.  They haven’t made you angry…you are responsible for your own emotions.   This is an important lesson for children, but adults have a hard time with this concept.  Showing your child that you can get frustrated without blaming and throwing a fit will reinforce this expected behavior with your child. Developing your EQ by managing your emotions will help them improve their own emotional intelligence. 

Share Your Emotions With Your Child

The best way to foster emotional intelligence in your children is to show it.  Tell your children how you are feeling and allow them to perceive it.  Practice the four components of emotional intelligence as you start to coach your children in social and emotional learning.  The change starts with us and, fortunately, emotional intelligence can be improved at any age.  As you start to engage your child in recognizing their emotions, make sure you do the same.  If they do something that angers you, instead of lashing back at them, pause and share with them how you feel and why…but don’t blame.  Bringing emotions to the fore front to acknowledge them is the first step, and you can do this with your own emotions as you help your child develop their emotional intelligence.  To learn more about modeling EQ with your child, check out this article:  How to teach your child emotional regulation skills in 6 steps – Mindful Little Minds

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Coaching Tips For Parents

Is Emotional Intelligence More Important Than IQ?

Is emotional intelligence a bigger contributor to personal success than IQ?  A growing body of research indicates so.  Simply state, Emotional Intelligence, or EQ, is the capacity to be aware of, control, and express your emotions.  More so than IQ, emotional intelligence can be improved with practice. Research shows that children with higher emotional intelligence are happier and more successful in school.  Using your parent coaching skills to help your child develop their emotional intelligence early in their life will benefit them throughout their lifetime.

What is Emotional Intelligence?

In the mid 1990s, Daniel Goleman, a Harvard educated psychologist, introduced the idea of emotional intelligence in his best-selling book, Emotional Intelligence.  Goleman’s book was targeted toward business leadership and became a New York Times bestseller, with more than 5 million copies sold worldwide.  Goleman has gone on to be an advocate of teaching children the skills for improving emotional intelligence.

Goleman defines emotional intelligence as a set up four skills that can be learned, practiced, and improved:

  1. Self awareness – Knowing our own emotions.
  2. Self regulation – Being able to manage and control how we react to our emotions.
  3. Empathy – Understanding the emotions of others.
  4. Social skills – Being able to build social connections and rapport with others.

These four skills can be learned by children starting at an early age. Goleman was so committed to the importance of building emotional intelligence in children, he co-founded the Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning (CASEL) at the Yale Child Studies Center.   CASEL has done extensive research on the importance of teaching kids how to improve their emotional intelligence.

Teaching Emotional Intelligence in School

The Yale Child Studies Center has developed the RULER program for schools to teach children how to recognize and manage their emotions. It closely parallels Goleman’s EQ skills identified above.  RULER is an acronym that stands for Recognizing emotions in your self and others, Understanding the causes and consequences of emotions, Labeling emotions accurately, Expressing emotions appropriately, and Regulating emotions effectively. The program has been shown to boost student’s emotional intelligence and improve academic performance while reducing anxiety, depression, and instances of bullying between students.

Developing EQ During Early Childhood

Helping children to develop good social and emotional skills early in life makes a big difference in their long-term health and well-being.  Studies have shown that children’s social and emotional functioning begin to stabilize around the age of eight and can help predict their mental health later in life.  Research has shown that emotional intelligence predicts over 54% of the variation in success in relationships, effectiveness, health, and overall quality of life.  Additional data indicates that young people with high emotional intelligence earn better grades and make healthier choices.

Emotional intelligence begins to develop in the earliest years. All the small exchanges children have with their parents, teachers, and with each other carry emotional messages.

Daniel Goleman

When children learn to express their emotions constructively before and while they are in their lower elementary grades, they are more likely to avoid serious mental health problems as they grow older.  

The Benefits of Building EQ In Children

Numerous studies have found that children who possess social and emotional skills are happier, more confident, and more capable as students and family members.  At the same time, they are far less likely to experience harmful behaviors later in life, such as substance abuse, depression, or violence. Helping your child develop their social and emotional skills will help them become healthy, caring, and competent adults.

Emotional intelligence is not just a concept that applies to business leaders as was the initial focus of Daniel Goleman’s best-selling book.  The skills to build emotional intelligence can be taught to and learned by children.  Research shows that as these skills are practiced and improved, children flourish…improving school performance and developing a stronger sense of self that will benefit them throughout their lifetime.  

Teaching EQ As A Parent Coach

You can use your new-found skills as a parent coach to promote social and emotional learning with your child.  Look for opportunities to engage with your child using the GROW approach to help them understand their emotions and become more aware of the emotions of others.  To learn more about social and emotional learning for children, check out this article from Daniel Goleman: The importance of developing Emotional Intelligence in children… and in adults. | GolemanEI.com

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Coaching Tips For Parents

Parent Coaching Is As Simple as G-R-O-W

A simple framework for business coaching was developed in England years ago and has gained in popularity in the US over the past decade.  This coaching model, known as “GROW,” can also be very useful for parent coaching.   It provides a simple approach to engage your child for social and emotional learning and to guide them in decision making.  The method is simple, but it takes patience and listening skills to guide your child through the process. 

The Four Steps in G-R-O-W

The coaching framework known as the GROW model is made up of four steps:  G — agreeing on the Goal; R–understanding the Reality;  O — coming up with Options to accomplish the goal;  and W — developing the Wayforward, or action plan. Starting to engage your child as early as 3-4 years old using the GROW model will help them be more emotionally aware, more empathetic, and self-responsible children.  When using the process to coach early in their childhood, you’ll use very basic questions as you guide them through the GROW framework to make simple decisions.   As your child becomes older and into their adolescence years, you’ll ask more detailed and involved questions as the decision making is more complex.

“Tell me and I forget, teach me and I may remember, involve me and I learn.”

– Benjamin Franklin

The Goal

The first step is to help them understand what they want in a particular situation.  Let’s use an example of helping a young child make a decision on what to wear when going outside on a cold day.  The conversation may start by your child approaching you and saying he or she wants to play outside…that is their goal.   You may ask if they should stay warm and safe when playing outside. This would be the agreed-upon mutual goal.  Another example involving a teenager is when I recently questioned my son on what college he wanted to attend after he graduated from high school next year. He mentioned a few schools he was interested in that have a good criminology program…that was his goal.

The Reality

Once you’ve helped your child develop a clear goal, the next step in the process is to have them understand the current situation.  This is the “R” in GROW, or the Reality.  In the case of the child wanting to play outside, you might question them on how cold it is outside.  You could ask a few probing questions to help them assess this, like “if there is ice or snow outside, do you think it’s really cold?”  In this step, you should help your child understand consequences for making poor decisions, like…”what do you think will happen if you don’t wear your heavy coat outside?”   For my son’s goal for attending a college with a strong criminology program, I asked him if he knew the admission requirements for the colleges he was interested in.  He was somewhat aware of the high standards for a couple of the schools but not aware of the requirements for a few others. That led to him doing some research before we talked about the next step.

Options

To help them determine the Options, ask them what ideas they have to address the situation and achieve their goal.  For the child who wants to play outside on a cold day, you might ask them their ideas to keep them warm and safe…a heavy coat?…should they wear gloves?…a hat?  For my teenage son, I asked his ideas on what he could do to meet the admission requirements of the schools he was interested in.  This led to ideas to take an SAT prep class and to get involved in some community volunteer activities.

The Way-Forward

The last step is to get them to make a decision…the “Way-Forward” in the GROW model.  When they are young, they won’t need to have a detailed action plan but have them determine THE action. In the example for playing outside in the cold, the way-forward is getting them to make the decision to wear their heavy coat, gloves, and a hat.  For my teenager, helping him develop a more detailed, time specific action plan was needed.  We agreed on where and when to take an SAT prep course and some volunteer activities that he was going to pursue.

Guiding your child in making good decisions will take some patience.  Being a parent coach and using GROW requires more time than just telling them what to do, which is our tendency in most cases.   Coaching them through a few simple questions using the GROW model will help them in making their own decisions and build self-responsibility. Start with some simple opportunities to engage your child in using the GROW approach.  With practice, you will become more comfortable and effective in using this question-based method to complement your current parenting approach.  You’ll be amazed on how this simple approach will help your child GROW.  To learn more about using the GROW approach, check out this article:  What is the GROW Coaching Model? (incl. Questions + Examples) (positivepsychology.com).

Categories
Coaching Tips For Parents

How Becoming a Parent Coach Can Help Your Child Thrive

Many of us have experienced coaching our child’s youth sports teams.   Coaching youth sports can be rewarding, but it’s often confused with parent coaching.  Parent coaching doesn’t involve barking out directions to pass the ball or play defense. It’s a style of parenting that involves asking questions of your child so they become aware of situations and can make their own decisions.  Parent coaching is a simple approach that provides powerful benefits for your child that can last their lifetime.

Parent Coaching Doesn’t Involve Swarm Soccer

As my son was growing up, I enjoyed coaching his little league baseball teams.  It was a great way to connect with my son…while trying to get him from picking dandelions in the outfield. Most of my time coaching the team was spent providing directions and instructions. Parent coaching involves more listening and asking questions.

Ask More Questions and Do Less Demanding

As a parent coach, you use questions to help your child gain awareness of their emotions and situations.  Instead of quickly resorting to giving directions, which most of us parents are prone to do, you engage your child with some simple questions to help them understand the situation and arrive at their own decision.  This approach encourages children to take responsibility for their own actions, which brings about change in your child more rapidly. 

Benefits of Parent Coaching

By helping them make their own decisions, their commitment to the decision increases and their performance improves.  Parent coaching helps to develop good judgement, build confidence, and create a sense of independence with your child. Studies have shown that parent coaching can improve your child’s social and emotional development early in their childhood and can be used throughout their teenage years as their decisions become more complex and involved.

“It’s not what you do for your children, but what you have taught them to do for themselves, that will make them successful human beings”

– Ann Landers

How To Become A Parent Coach

Parent coaching can be easily learned and practiced while integrating it into your existing parenting approach.  You don’t need a degree or special certification to be an effective parent coach.  You don’t need to hire a professional parent coach and pay them $$/hour…although this seems to be gaining in popularity.   You can follow a simple approach to become a parent coach.

An awareness of your current parenting style is a good place to start as you move toward using a coaching approach with your child.  Research has identified four widely accepted parenting styles:

  • Authoritative
  • Authoritarian
  • Permissive
  • Uninvolved/neglecting

The studies are clear that authoritative parenting is the preferred parenting style. Authoritative parents have rules, and they use consequences, but they also take their children’s opinions into account. They set clear boundaries but also encourage children’s independence within those limits. Discipline in such families may be more supportive than punitive, and as children get older, their independence increases. Often parents don’t fit into just one category, so don’t despair if there are times or areas where you tend to be permissive and other times when you’re more authoritative. 

Moving From Authoritarian to Authoritative

A coaching approach can help you move from a controlling, authoritarian style to a more authoritative style. Most of us parent primarily through directing…”do this, don’t do that.”  Do you always find yourself providing instructions and directions? Giving firm directions is a necessary part of parenting…but start noticing how often you ask your child questions about various situations.   Do you ask how they are feeling?  Or how someone else might feel when something happened to them?  Start engaging your child in some simple questions to help them become more aware of situations and guide them in decision making.  This simple approach can help develop happy, confident, and independent children.  If you’re interested in learning more about parent coaching, check out The Parent Coach: A Site for Proactive Parents

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Coaching Tips For Managers

3 Things to Jumpstart Your Engagement Skills As You Return to the Office

As many organizations return to the office this summer, you and your team may experience some anxiety as you reconnect in person for the first time in over a year.   Most teams experienced significant changes in social behaviors and routines during the COVID pandemic.  A return to the office brings uncertainty and a new social environment that can cause stress and anxiety.  There are some simple things you can do right away to make the transition back to the office less stressful for you and your team.

Be Visible — Return to the Office But Don’t Hide In It

During the pandemic, you probably spent most of your work hours behind the computer. This has probably become your new comfort zone, so you’ll need to consciously fight this temptation as your team returns to the office.  They need to see you out and about… among the team.  You should consider having regular walkarounds to check in with team members.  These walkarounds should be to engage with your team members — not be seen as a “bed check” to find out who is in the office.  One thing that worked for a fellow manager was taking a new path to the office each morning that would allow him to connect with different team members each morning. Just stopping by their cubicle to say hi and see how things are going will go a long way to making them feel more comfortable. Another approach to get out among the team is to go see them to address a question or issue that may have come across your email.  Again, it will be easy to just answer this issue through e-mail. Try to get out from behind your computer and see your team members in person as often as you can…especially when you’re first back into the office.

Plan Some Fun Reconnect Activities

After over a year of remote work, most team members will enjoy reconnecting in person in an informal way…a sort of icebreaker for getting back into the office.   You should plan something informal and light-hearted to get the team reconnected in person.   This could be a lunch outside the work environment to celebrate the “return to normalcy”.  Before the pandemic, we often had informal potluck lunches where team members enjoyed bringing in their unique dishes. Just be aware that many may not be comfortable with potlucks as we emerge from the pandemic.  I recommend getting out of the office for a change in scenery. Escape from the cubicles and conference rooms.  Most organizations haven’t been able to celebrate team members’ service anniversaries in person during the pandemic, so having a lunch offsite to celebrate these anniversaries is a great opportunity to reconnect.

Provide Some Flexibility

One of the benefits of working virtually that many team members enjoyed was the  flexibility during their workday.  As your team returns to the office, don’t be too rigid in enforcing pre-pandemic workplace norms.  Most of us saw that the team was able to conduct their business while working virtually and having some additional flexibility.  Don’t discard this valuable learning from the pandemic.  Provide some additional flexibility for team members.  Encourage them to take breaks throughout the day…maybe take a walk around the building or walk to the Starbucks next door.  I’ve known some managers who had group walks with their teams.  Getting out of the office periodically can ease much of the anxiety associated with returning to it.   

Practicing these three things can help you and your team members reconnect and reduce anxiety as you return to the office.  Your team members will most assuredly have their own ideas as well.  You should ask them to share their ideas on how to reduce back-to-the-office stress in a team meeting shortly after you return.  And don’t forget to take care of yourself while you’re focused on taking care of your team.  Don’t feel guilty about taking some breaks for yourself to get out of the office.  Enjoy the process of reconnecting in person with your team and lead them by example.

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Coaching Tips For Managers

Are You CURIOUS How to Get Started Coaching?

To get started coaching with your team members may be a little uncomfortable at first. Managers often feel uneasy relinquishing so much control of the discussion and moving to a less directive approach. You may not be sure where and how to start. Building a successful coaching relationship requires you to establish rapport and trust with your coachee. You can do some simple things to establish early rapport with team members as you begin a coaching relationship – it starts with a little curiosity.  

“The only way to influence people is to talk in terms of what the other person wants.”

Dale Carnegie, Best Selling Author and Speaker

After the benefits of coaching are understood, and you’ve had some training in a coaching model, you’re ready to start coaching.  However, it rarely is that simple as managers may not know where to begin.  A shotgun approach to deploying a coaching approach can backfire.   I saw this first-hand in a recent organization that I worked in.  When the organization decided to move toward a coaching leadership approach, the implementation was inconsistent and not very effective.  The leadership team and new managers received training in GROW.  However, not all managers were comfortable having coaching sessions with team members.  It was too “touchy, feely” for some.   They often returned to their comfort zone during one-on-ones — talking about the daily business and not the team member’s development or performance.

Connect with Team Members And Be Curious

There are a few simple tactics I’ve used to build rapport with a new coachee, and it starts with curiosity.  You need to be curious in what interests them and you should show this curiosity by asking them questions.  If you find something in common with them, your rapport will grow exponentially.  I asked some simple questions as I did my morning walkarounds in the office and in the break room…like what they thought of the game last night or what they did over the weekend.   During the walkarounds, I would notice pictures, pennants, or trinkets that the team member had displayed in their cubicle.  This often turned out to be a good starting point to ask questions about their interests, college alma mater, etc.   Team members always responded positively, and we established some instant rapport. Showing some curiosity and interest goes a long way in building rapport with team members as you start coaching them.

Do Some Research

Another approach I used to build rapport with a coachee was doing a little research first to get a sense of their background and interests.  At a company I worked in previously, we had an internal social media platform similar to Facebook. Employees could share their profile which included their education, skills and previous work experience.   I would research a coachee’s profile to identify something in common that we could discuss in our early coaching sessions. As a professional coach nowadays, I use Linked-In to find common interests and experience with my external coaching clients to build rapport.  This has been useful in breaking the ice and building rapport when developing a new coaching relationship.

Get Started Coaching with Team Members Who Are Willing

I recommend against diving into coaching for the first time with a low performer.  Coaching for low performance can be challenging, and having some coaching experience is recommended before you embark on this.  I suggest starting to coach with team members for career development and with whom you have some rapport with already. Begin with a team member who will be receptive to coaching.  Maybe they’ve mentioned a desire to learn a new skill or transition to a new role. 

Ease The Anxiety With Your Team Members

Beginning coaching discussions with your employees can be uncomfortable for them too. In a recent survey by the American Psychological Association, 75% of the participants said the most stressful aspect of their job was interacting with their immediate boss. You can reduce their anxiety and yours by building rapport and trust with your team members.  Having some rapport with your coachee is needed before you jump into the GROW model.

Being curious and building rapport with your coachee will enable you to be a more effective coach.  Your team members will be more willing to engage in the GROW approach, which will lead to deeper discussions on performance and development.  Start with a team member who you have rapport with already and would be receptive to coaching for professional development.  For more info on building rapport with your team, check out this article:  Building Rapport: The First Step to Being a Great Manager

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Coaching Tips For Managers

To Become an Effective Coach You May Need to G-R-O-W

As your organization recognizes the benefits of a leadership coaching culture, you may struggle to overcome initial inertia to begin the transition.  Many managers may not know how and where to start.   Using a simple framework for coaching can boost managers’ confidence and dramatically increase the use of a coaching approach.  A model known as G-R-O-W can be the fertilizer to establish fresh green shoots of new coaches throughout your organization.

In one of my previous organizations, the Human Resource department began pushing the need for managers to start using leadership coaching.  They had become enlightened on the benefits of coaching, including improved employee retention and increased employee engagement.  While managers seemed to embrace the benefits of coaching, most of us were new to it and didn’t know where and how to begin.  We were stumbling around on the ground, hitting our head on the furniture as we were trying to learn how to walk and coach.  It wasn’t until we started training managers on a coaching model known as G-R-O-W, that we were able to make real progress.  Without training on a framework for coaching, your efforts to build a coaching culture will likely be inconsistent with spotty implementation.  

Elements of The Framework

There are several proven methods that can be used successfully for leadership coaching. These include GROW, ACHIEVE, OSKAR, and CLEAR .  All these models include the following elements:

1) Discovery – Understanding the current situation

2) Identify the desired situation and objective

3) Understand the gap – the difference between the current situation and the desired

4) Identify various solutions to close the gap

5) Develop an action plan for the preferred solution 

As with any coaching approach, these models use questions for each of the steps to get the coachee’s input and perspective.

G-R-O-W

Probably the most widely used coaching framework is the GROW model.  This method was developed in the 1980s by Sir John Whitmore in the United Kingdom.  He wrote the book Coaching for Performance (1988), which has been widely used for decades.  We trained our new managers in the GROW method several years ago, and I have been using it since as my primary method for coaching.  GROW is a model that leads to a clear result in four stages: 

Goal

The first step is focused on identifying the goal for the coaching.    The goal may be to improve performance in a certain area or focused on career development.  An example of a question to get clarity on the goal for performance improvement could be: “What is the performance level you think you can achieve if we addressed all your obstacles?”  An example goal question for coaching on professional development might be:  “What do you want to be doing in a year…or in five years?” Although you should use questions to probe the coachee on the goal, remember as the manager it’s your job to evaluate job performance and skills.   You may have to lean-in more on this step than on others to make sure the goal is clear.  But catch yourself if you find that you are prescribing the goal.  You can suggest but not dictate.  It’s important that you prompt the coachee in arriving on the goal themselves to ensure their buy-in.  

Reality

This second step is intended to understand the current issues, obstacles, and causes.  If there are performance metrics that can provide context to the issue, these should be highlighted in this step.  Getting the coachee’s perception of what is causing the issue is important. Additionally, understanding skills and talents can be useful in this step.  Often the source of the performance issue is insufficient skills that point to a need for additional training.  An example of a question that you can use in this step is: “What is the biggest obstacle you are currently facing that is impacting your performance?” or “What do you need in order to achieve the performance level we discussed for the goal.” In my coaching experience, this step is the most important and requires the most time.  Don’t short-cut the discussion.  You may find that more than one coaching session is needed to really understand the Reality – the issues and root causes.

Options

The third step in GROW is where the manager and team member come up with ideas for addressing the issues and causes.  Jointly identify as many alternative actions as possible.  Don’t limit thinking by bringing in constraints.  Be careful to avoid jumping in to provide the solutions in this step…a common pitfall for managers.  It’s important that the coachee lead with their ideas, and you can voice your thoughts on these and any other ideas you have.  Some simple questions you could ask to start the brainstorming for this step might be “If there were no constraints, what would you do to address this issue” or “what strengths can you use to move forward?”

Way-Forward

The last step is the creation of an action plan.  The plan should have definitive actions and dates. Once the action plan is developed, you can use future coaching sessions to discuss progress and any help needed.  This action plan is extremely important as it adds accountability.  Accountability differentiates coaching from mentoring.  Unfortunately, this a step that is often neglected in many coaching relationships.  I was guilty of avoiding the action plan in some of my coaching relationships…especially for professional development coaching.  It sometimes felt that I was imposing this on the coachee when they were really just looking for advice.  However, the coachee will appreciate your help in developing a meaningful action plan that will translate good ideas into results.  Some questions that you might use for this step could be:  “What is the first thing you should focus on right away” or “What three things can you complete in the next week.” 

Training in GROW

The GROW model can be used effectively in various coaching scenarios, including both coaching for personal development and coaching for performance. It is a simple, straight-forward method that can be self taught. I’ve included additional questions you may want to consider for each step under “Tools” at the Rallypoint Coaching website. You may want to consider formal training in GROW with all of your management team.  The training I received from a 3rd party included some valuable practice with fellow managers to build confidence and consistency.

Using GROW is especially useful for managers that are new to coaching.  Keep in mind that this is a framework…don’t be too rigid in following it.  Give your coaching relationships time to GROW.  You don’t need to progress through all four phases in one coaching session.  Give ample time for discovery in each phase.  GROW provides an easy method to improve your coaching sessions, but be sure to facilitate and not lead.  By using a simple model like GROW, you will have new coaches sprouting up throughout your organization.  Managers will have more confidence and be more effective in their coaching approach.  With a solid playbook for coaching, you’re ready to hit the field and practice with a few willing team members.  For more information on GROW, check out the following article from InsideOut Coaching, the 3rd party who provided GROW training for my organization: Intro to the GROW Model and Performance Wheel | InsideOut Development

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Coaching Tips For Managers

How Coaching Can Transform Your Team and Your Company

A coaching leadership approach has a stigma of being a remedial process to address low performance that takes too much of managers’ time.  But coaching should instead be seen as an approach to create growth, results, and opportunity across your organization.  The business case for creating a coaching culture where coaching is practiced at all levels of the organization is multidimensional.  It has powerful benefits for individual team members, managers, and the organization.

Team Member Benefits

Leadership coaching can benefit individual team members in many ways.  One of the strongest benefits is in career and skill development. This is probably the most common scenario for coaching, as both employee and manager are usually motivated to engage on this and it avoids the threat of confrontation.  Additionally, a coaching approach helps team members become more autonomous and independent.  By asking them for their own ideas and guiding them to solve their own problems, they feel more respected, have higher motivation and increased job satisfaction. 

Google conducted a research project with their employees to determine the desired qualities in their managers. Google’s Project Oxygen identified coaching as the top competency that employees wanted in management.  Technical expertise scored lower on the list of desired manager competencies.  This connects with my observations from many years of employee surveys, roundtables, and one-on-ones.  Team members value HOW you interact with them more than what you know. Unfortunately, individual contributors are often promoted into management for their subject matter expertise, not for how effectively they lead team members.  I’ve been guilty of promoting excellent engineers and problem solvers into the management ranks and found later that they didn’t have the skills or aptitude to lead people effectively.

Manager Benefits

There are several benefits for managers who adopt a coaching style. Coaching allows them to take a collaborative approach with their team members.  For most managers, this is more fulfilling than a directive, command-and-control approach.  It allows the manager to be more creative.  Coaching emphasizes building trust and relationships with team members.  I enjoyed walking to Starbucks during coaching sessions and getting to know my team members better. Because coaching develops more self-sufficient team members, you’ll be able to spend more time helping them drive improvements and less of your time on the day-to-day issues. 

Coaching also provides increased accountability that helps managers in the performance evaluation process.  I found that the feedback from regular coaching sessions dramatically improved performance management.  It provided more focus on feedback and less on compliance to our HR processes.   It avoids surprises with team members at the end of the year. One of the personal rewards I found in coaching is seeing team members grow professionally and achieve their career ambitions. Another benefit from coaching is that it can expand your sphere of influence through connections you make during the coaching process.

Organizational Benefits

The advantages for an organization in achieving a coaching culture is well established.  Empowering employees to solve their own problems rather than just telling them what to do will activate untapped productivity and innovation.  A coaching leadership culture is an important element of creating a learning organization, focusing on team members’ growth and development.   A coaching culture not only increases business performance and employee engagement, but it also improves retention.   It creates a favorable image and reputation of the organization, which in turn, attracts talent.

If your organization is to be successful in moving toward a coaching leadership approach, managers at all levels will need to buy-in to the benefits.  Coaching takes time and work, and it may stretch some managers out of their comfort zone.  The benefits to their team members, to themselves, and to the organization need to be shared and recognized.  Without the motivation to embark on a coaching approach, it’s easy to resort back to the familiar command and control approach. 

As you start to use coaching in your leadership style, connect with fellow managers who are doing the same and share some of the benefits and learnings that you encounter.   This will help build early momentum in transitioning to a coaching culture that can transform your team and your company.  For more information on the benefits of a coaching culture and how it benefitted Microsoft, check out this article from the Harvard Business Review:  The Leader as Coach (hbr.org)

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Coaching Tips For Managers

Coaching Leadership – More Discovery And Less Directing

Although the coaching leadership style has gained in popularity over the past several years, a recent study by Harvard Business Review shows that most managers don’t understand what coaching really is.  Many managers believe coaching is about providing advice and recommendations.  They think they are coaching when they are just telling their employees what to do.  By clearly understanding what coaching leadership is, and how it differs from other management styles, you can start to develop a coaching mindset that will help your team members thrive.

Some managers associate coaching with external consultants who are hired to help executives and managers develop their leadership skills.  Other managers may associate coaching leadership with methods similar to a sports coach. However, there are key differences between sports and leadership coaching.

Coaching Leadership Involves Asking Questions

A coaching leadership approach involves asking questions to provoke insights from your team members.  It’s a discovery process where you guide the coachee in arriving at their own insights and potential solutions.  

Coaching is unlocking a person’s potential to maximize their own performance. It is about helping them to learn rather than teaching them.

– Sir John Whitmore

A coaching leadership style runs a bit counter to much of what we’ve learned as managers over the years…the traditional command-and-control approach. We feel that we’re promoted into management for our expertise, and we should use this expertise and experience to provide answers and instructions to our team members.   While there are frequent situations where your expertise is needed, coaching is more about having a conversation and asking probing, open-ended questions.  The goal of coaching is to guide the coachee in arriving at their own insights and solutions. 

Listen More and Talk Less

Slowing down to ask questions to help team members arrive at their own solutions has been a challenge for me.  I often found myself too impatient to engage the team member with questions, and I would jump in to provide answers and directions for them.  This was particularly challenging when I was trying to coach low performers.   I would often say “do this and then do that”.  I found myself confusing consulting with coaching.  I was anxious to share my expertise and knowledge by offering up advice to team members. It wasn’t until I received formal training on coaching that I began to understand the difference between coaching and other leadership methods that I had been trained in over the years.

“If we were meant to talk more than listen, we would have two mouths and one ear.”

Mark Twain

Companies often establish goals to transition to a coaching approach with their management team.  However, there usually is a significant gap between aspiration and the daily practice of coaching.  The gap is often due to a lack of understanding of what coaching is.  There are frameworks you can follow to help you in the coaching process, but focusing first on understanding what coaching leadership means is a good start to building a coaching mindset.   As you develop this mindset, you can engage your team members more effectively in coaching them for performance and career development.  

Fighting your well-developed management muscle that provides direction will probably be challenging for you…but you can start by asking simple questions to help your team members arrive at their own solutions.  Like …“What ideas do you have to address this issue?” To learn more about the coaching leadership style, check out the book “The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever” by Michael Bungay Stanier.