Is emotional intelligence a bigger contributor to personal success than IQ? A growing body of research indicates so. Simply state, Emotional Intelligence, or EQ, is the capacity to be aware of, control, and express your emotions. More so than IQ, emotional intelligence can be improved with practice. Research shows that children with higher emotional intelligence are happier and more successful in school. Using your parent coaching skills to help your child develop their emotional intelligence early in their life will benefit them throughout their lifetime.
What is Emotional Intelligence?
In the mid 1990s, Daniel Goleman, a Harvard educated psychologist, introduced the idea of emotional intelligence in his best-selling book, Emotional Intelligence. Goleman’s book was targeted toward business leadership and became a New York Times bestseller, with more than 5 million copies sold worldwide. Goleman has gone on to be an advocate of teaching children the skills for improving emotional intelligence.
Goleman defines emotional intelligence as a set up four skills that can be learned, practiced, and improved:
- Self awareness – Knowing our own emotions.
- Self regulation – Being able to manage and control how we react to our emotions.
- Empathy – Understanding the emotions of others.
- Social skills – Being able to build social connections and rapport with others.
These four skills can be learned by children starting at an early age. Goleman was so committed to the importance of building emotional intelligence in children, he co-founded the Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning (CASEL) at the Yale Child Studies Center. CASEL has done extensive research on the importance of teaching kids how to improve their emotional intelligence.
Teaching Emotional Intelligence in School
The Yale Child Studies Center has developed the RULER program for schools to teach children how to recognize and manage their emotions. It closely parallels Goleman’s EQ skills identified above. RULER is an acronym that stands for Recognizing emotions in your self and others, Understanding the causes and consequences of emotions, Labeling emotions accurately, Expressing emotions appropriately, and Regulating emotions effectively. The program has been shown to boost student’s emotional intelligence and improve academic performance while reducing anxiety, depression, and instances of bullying between students.
Developing EQ During Early Childhood
Helping children to develop good social and emotional skills early in life makes a big difference in their long-term health and well-being. Studies have shown that children’s social and emotional functioning begin to stabilize around the age of eight and can help predict their mental health later in life. Research has shown that emotional intelligence predicts over 54% of the variation in success in relationships, effectiveness, health, and overall quality of life. Additional data indicates that young people with high emotional intelligence earn better grades and make healthier choices.
Emotional intelligence begins to develop in the earliest years. All the small exchanges children have with their parents, teachers, and with each other carry emotional messages.
Daniel Goleman
When children learn to express their emotions constructively before and while they are in their lower elementary grades, they are more likely to avoid serious mental health problems as they grow older.
The Benefits of Building EQ In Children
Numerous studies have found that children who possess social and emotional skills are happier, more confident, and more capable as students and family members. At the same time, they are far less likely to experience harmful behaviors later in life, such as substance abuse, depression, or violence. Helping your child develop their social and emotional skills will help them become healthy, caring, and competent adults.
Emotional intelligence is not just a concept that applies to business leaders as was the initial focus of Daniel Goleman’s best-selling book. The skills to build emotional intelligence can be taught to and learned by children. Research shows that as these skills are practiced and improved, children flourish…improving school performance and developing a stronger sense of self that will benefit them throughout their lifetime.
Teaching EQ As A Parent Coach
You can use your new-found skills as a parent coach to promote social and emotional learning with your child. Look for opportunities to engage with your child using the GROW approach to help them understand their emotions and become more aware of the emotions of others. To learn more about social and emotional learning for children, check out this article from Daniel Goleman: The importance of developing Emotional Intelligence in children… and in adults. | GolemanEI.com